Investing in my Health, Part 6

As I got older and went back to my love of running, I also went back to my my Mom’s passing. A lot of the feelings I think I should have felt after she passed were suppressed and well, I was just too young to either feel them, acknowledge them, and to know what questions to ask.

And I had SO many questions. I connected with cancer causes, did my own research, and talked to my biology and sociology profs and TAs about cancer issues, focusing many of my papers on things cancer-related.

I started to really realize how huge it was that this thing, losing my mother, in my early age, and her in her mid-forties, impacted my life. I started to hate it. I hated that my memories were vague, that I didn’t know her voice, and also often wondered if there were parts of me that were growing to look like her parts, only I had no idea what her parts looked like. A 5-year old doesn’t really focus on those things.

The biggest thing that bothered me was that kids everywhere were losing their mothers at age 5 too. It wasn’t just me. And so I decided that I wanted to do something about it. I decided to host a fundraiser for the Canadian Cancer Society, and along with family members and close friends, and my boyfriend, we shed our hair for a cause.

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I continued my research and got more acquainted with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada. They answered so many questions and took interest in my interest to volunteer. They asked me if I was interested in being part of the Team in Training program, which honours and supports blood cancer patients through endurance sports. Having my eye on running a full marathon at some point in my life, I decided to go for it. I was going to volunteer, but I was also going to train. They equipped me so well with a great team, a mentor and a coach.

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A Hero board that my siblings and I put together to share with my team who I was running for.
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The morning of the marathon, decked out in Mom-Love and ready to rock.

Counterintuitivity

It’s a word. Ok?

Since starting this journey, there are so many things that have come up that have seemed so counterintuitive to me.

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Counterintuitive as contrary to what one would intuitively expect.

My energy

I was feeling exhausted and had very low energy. I talked to my doctor about it, got some tests done, started taking more vitamins and supplements and felt ok, and felt kinda better. When I was more active, I know it made me feel good – I felt better physically, my head was clear…but would expending more energy give me MORE energy? That makes no sense…right?

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Then and Now

I took this photo over 9 years ago. I was fairly newly married, it was my birthday, and my husband and I had just gone for a run that morning. I feel like looking back, I didn’t have a care in the world. It kinda looks like it too. This was also after I had run my first marathon, so I was in pretty good health.

If I could go back and say something to this young woman, among the many things I’d say, I’d include 2 things:

1. Your life is about to get really chaotic, but the good news is, it’s because you’re gonna be a mom! (I got pregnant around a month after this!)

2. When you get advice later on about taking care of yourself, treat that advice like GOLD.

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My Why

Those of you who know me know I’m in a busy season of life. But, I’ve felt like I’ve been doing so much, but not doing much well. My time hasn’t been spent where my heart wants to be and I realized a few months ago that in my daily hustle, I seemed to have forgotten about myself.

That happens to all of us sometimes, doesn’t it?

I was feeling sluggish, my anxiety was starting to come back, I felt exhausted all the time. I was unfulfilled, wishing I could spend more time with my family and yearning to do something more meaningful. I was in pretty bad shape and it was starting to show physically, mentally and emotionally.

Something had to change.

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